The Day Before

I have fully accepted the possibilities of a DNF. I have not been loyal to my training schedule for a variety of reasons, but mainly because I have not been very successful at the balancing act. I have allowed myself to commit too much of my emotional and mental resources to things that are entirely beyond my control. As a means of compensation, I've been letting go of my training. I'm not sure if this was a good solution to my problems, but it was a solution.

Some times I wonder if I'm going about this whole thing from the wrong angle. I'm not a professional athlete, but it almost seems that I'm trying to live like one between my meal plans and training schedule. The mental effort and physical discipline it takes to execute those two agendas on a daily basis does not allow for much auxiliary stresses, such as overtime commitments of work, battling evil that is NJDMV, and contending with rampant stupidity.

I don't know how people like IronWil and GottaRun do it. Especially IronWil. One of her training session is likely to land me in the hospital with an IV drip in the PSYCHIATRIC WARD because they would be convinced that I was, in fact, trying to commit suicide. Why else would a seemingly sane person continue in a five hour workout if she's already seeing stars after only an hour and a half?

So anyway, here I am. In the middle of a truly beautiful city (an entry about my jaunts in Quebec is forthcoming ... I forgot to pack the cable that connects my camera to the laptop), I sit at my hotel desk, looking out into Place George V and Menege Militaire. The weather hasn't been the best, but the grey skies, fog and mist lends a certain character and mood to this city that is both haunting and regal.

View from my window at the Chateau Laurier

I'm incredibly nervous and scared for tomorrow. I know I can cover 15 miles without any problems, and possibly even 20 if I hold back enough, but 26.2 may just be a bit more than I can handle.

I am not worried about a DNF - I know that there is no shame in it. Everybody needs to fail once in a while, and it isn't so bad to fail here. There's always some Poutine and a lovely collection of Patisseries to provide some comfort either way. In the meanwhile, keep your fingers crossed and pray for me. Maybe a full rosary ... or two.